[ the flinch confuses him, honestly. because in their time together, there's never been flinching; maybe an embarrassed fluster, and it's not like they haven't fought, but in the context of this flinching is such a strong response to something like "i love you", such a token phrase of his, that it makes his heart beat a little more painfully in his chest.
and then the words come, the explanation comes, and he's a little blindsided. he fights it, but unconsciously, leo tenses. "i might have to go", tsukasa says?
go... go? like, leave? was there a place to go outside of knights, outside of leo's vision?
( no, he knows, there is—there's a whole world out there. )
the concept is actually a little ridiculous to him. it doesn't quite register, and his reality usually aligns so well with his dreams, and he keeps both so preciously tucked together, but the implication there is kind of ripping that close connection apart. and the last time that happened, that —
( well, it kind of tore him apart, tore him apart to the point where he's still not really fixed, but he was getting kinda closer to that, he thinks. or maybe it's he thought, and that stupid part of him has to resist the urge to get up and run away from this conversation before it even starts )
— no, no. he doesn't say anything for a little bit, then he moves, lifting his head from his leaning position on suou's and... steels himself to be level about this, to be the leader, yeah? when it came to these kind of emotional matters, he had the bad habit of distancing himself a little bit personally... he didn't want to handle these situations recklessly. he dances around his own emotions.
he raises a hand to his face, covering part of his mouth with a sleeve. ]
Yeah?
[ it's a little taut, muffled by his clothes, but it's level. he's... forcing himself, but he's trying to make it seem like he's not. ]
Like... leaving Knights?
[ it's not accusatory, but sterile. the voice of a leader struggling to remain a leader first. trying to understand why, get the facts about why, suddenly, someone would need to leave home, like he left home— ]
no subject
and then the words come, the explanation comes, and he's a little blindsided. he fights it, but unconsciously, leo tenses. "i might have to go", tsukasa says?
go... go? like, leave? was there a place to go outside of knights, outside of leo's vision?
( no, he knows, there is—there's a whole world out there. )
the concept is actually a little ridiculous to him. it doesn't quite register, and his reality usually aligns so well with his dreams, and he keeps both so preciously tucked together, but the implication there is kind of ripping that close connection apart. and the last time that happened, that —
( well, it kind of tore him apart, tore him apart to the point where he's still not really fixed, but he was getting kinda closer to that, he thinks. or maybe it's he thought, and that stupid part of him has to resist the urge to get up and run away from this conversation before it even starts )
— no, no. he doesn't say anything for a little bit, then he moves, lifting his head from his leaning position on suou's and... steels himself to be level about this, to be the leader, yeah? when it came to these kind of emotional matters, he had the bad habit of distancing himself a little bit personally... he didn't want to handle these situations recklessly. he dances around his own emotions.
he raises a hand to his face, covering part of his mouth with a sleeve. ]
Yeah?
[ it's a little taut, muffled by his clothes, but it's level. he's... forcing himself, but he's trying to make it seem like he's not. ]
Like... leaving Knights?
[ it's not accusatory, but sterile. the voice of a leader struggling to remain a leader first. trying to understand why, get the facts about why, suddenly, someone would need to leave home, like he left home— ]