[ yeah, yeah he knows — he doesn't want to ask, "like leaving... leaving? leaving me?" because that's— that isn't... he's not really prepared for that kind of conversation, because that's his music pulling apart, and even when he's not running away from things he's still kind of running away from them.

and it isn't fair to tsukasa.

"you don't get to say it like that".

right, right, he... really doesn't. and that steel in tsukasa's voice... who would've thought that tsukasa's voice, the one he has on his music player, that he listens to to unravel—would pull him that taut, would give him a lump in his throat that he can't quite navigate through?

that sleeve of his isn't leaving his mouth yet, and even when tsukasa lifts his head, he can't quite find it in himself to meet those eyes for more than a few seconds.

stop, it isn't fair to tsukasa—

he tries again. ]

... Sorry. That was definitely...

[ wrong. less sterile, but still wound up, still trying to seem somewhat put together because... because he's not sure. he just has to.

for tsukasa? maybe for himself, too? ]

... I mean, I know you wouldn't— [ not like i did ] —Since you stayed by this foolish side so long already, right?

[ so why, goes unsaid.

they'd always talked like suou was the one who was going to bring people back, bring leo back, so why would he leave?

( who was going to bring him back? ) ]