It's not something that he's in denial about - he's well aware that he has a tendency to be ambitious to the point of being self-centered, even though he does his best to take notice of how his actions affect the lives of others as well. It's just a matter of fact that Tsukasa will take the things that are offered to him, will seize opportunities and endlessly acclimate good things for himself.
But is he selfish enough to accept this from Leo?
He's not prone to crying over the actions of others - his own inadequacy could at times become too much for him, but he didn't think he'd ever actually shed tears over something that Leo said to him and -
he was wrong.
Tears fill his eyes to the rim without his permission, his throat closing up even as the expression on his face can only be seen as surprise.]
Leader, I... You can't - We can't.....!
[Leo has always amazed Tsukasa, infuriated him too, but always amazed. Always been made up of the stuff of stars and infinities and possibility - even when Tsukasa couldn't understand. Tsukasa's feet have always been right on the ground, too planted to reality.
Which is why this stings.]
You don't get to just... dangle that in front of me - it's not going to work that way.... It's not!
[even if it'll hurt at first, even if tsukasa is pretty sure that he'll never be able to forget someone as impossible and amazing and infuriating and truly exceptional as Leo - he can't be this selfish and idealistic.
he can't believe that Leo would truly wait for him when he might not ever come back
and even if he let himself believe it, it would be too cruel to want it]
no subject
It's not something that he's in denial about - he's well aware that he has a tendency to be ambitious to the point of being self-centered, even though he does his best to take notice of how his actions affect the lives of others as well. It's just a matter of fact that Tsukasa will take the things that are offered to him, will seize opportunities and endlessly acclimate good things for himself.
But is he selfish enough to accept this from Leo?
He's not prone to crying over the actions of others - his own inadequacy could at times become too much for him, but he didn't think he'd ever actually shed tears over something that Leo said to him and -
he was wrong.
Tears fill his eyes to the rim without his permission, his throat closing up even as the expression on his face can only be seen as surprise.]
Leader, I... You can't - We can't.....!
[Leo has always amazed Tsukasa, infuriated him too, but always amazed. Always been made up of the stuff of stars and infinities and possibility - even when Tsukasa couldn't understand. Tsukasa's feet have always been right on the ground, too planted to reality.
Which is why this stings.]
You don't get to just... dangle that in front of me - it's not going to work that way.... It's not!
[even if it'll hurt at first, even if tsukasa is pretty sure that he'll never be able to forget someone as impossible and amazing and infuriating and truly exceptional as Leo - he can't be this selfish and idealistic.
he can't believe that Leo would truly wait for him when he might not ever come back
and even if he let himself believe it, it would be too cruel to want it]