[ . . . buzen will take the flower then, thoughtfully, turning it over in his hands. even in the dream, the blood on his glove lightly stains against the stem of the chrysanthemum.]
... it's hard to say if I know how.
[softly]
... I'm pretty used to it. Knowing I'll say goodbye to almost every human from the start.
[it was only his time in the Prism that interrupted that type of thinking - that made buzen wonder if he could hold onto some people just a little longer]
[seeing it coming... but that's not the goodbye he should be focusing on, not when he's on this shore, by this sea.
The breeze around them picks up, ruffling their hair, clothes, buzen's red flag trailing in the wind. Itsuki holds up another chrysanthemum, watching it sway to and fro in his grip.]
Shall we say goodbye to them together?
[his hand opens, and the breeze sweeps the flower up, up, up, and towards the sea.]
[ . . . hm. buzen will let his own chrysanthemum go, watching it follow along the breeze to trail after itsuki's until they're both carried out by the ocean.
gently, he pulls itsuki closer to him with their joined hands.]
Don't be scared.
Just because we say goodbye doesn't mean we can't say hello again another time.
[maybe he can borrow some of buzen's boundless confidence, and his acceptance of what might come to pass. itsuki links his other hand with buzen's, so he can hold them both.
[itsuki his other hand is bloody - though buzen supposes at this point itsuki can't particularly mind. he just huffs a little bit at that, amused, before nodding.]
Mm.
Are we going to wake up? Or are you going to show me something else?
he's pretty sure itsuki asked him this question before, and the funny thing is that he really doesn't think that his answer's changed at all. he smiles and tilts his head]
Anything's fine - I'd just like to stay with you.
[so they can be together when they're sleeping, and awake]
[It's the same thing he said before, and it has the same effect on Itsuki now. The smile he shines on Buzen is warm and fond.
He thinks about all the fantastical sights he could show Buzen -- underwater palaces, grand mountain ranges -- safaris and great, sweeping valleys with wild horses (fast things itsuki knows buzen would appreciate) -- fireworks at night, imaginary ball rooms...
...]
Let me show you a memory in return.
[a wave of petals descends from the sky, swirling around them as the wind picks up again -- the blood fades away from their hands and clothes, the sand beneath their feet turns into familiar tatami -- and then dissipates to reveal a bright, airy room. it's a room meant to entertain guests, loud and garish, but it looks softer in the morning light. a large phonograph sits on one of the low tables, standing out among the rest of the traditional decor.
the sound of hurried footsteps echo from outside the hall, and Itsuki tugs Buzen away from the door, laughing a little when it slides open to reveal children -- a young girl and boy. the girl tugs the boy after her, and they both make straight for the phonograph, neither noticing Itsuki or Buzen.
I told you it was still here. The girl proudly announces, as they both stand in front of it. The boy frowns, and with a voice of half-curiosity, half-doubt. This is supposed to play music...? How?
They both stare it and then look at each other, the similarities between them obvious. The boy looks at the girl's face, and his expression turns wry at what he finds there. Aneue...
She huffs in response. Shut up, Itsuki. It can't be that hard... Hurry up and help me. Itsuki grumbles, but he leans over to study the machine, shoulder to shoulder with Kazuha. The plainness of his clothes contrasts with the finery of her red kimono, but everything else about them is identical.
Itsuki, grown-up Itsuki, hovers his hand over the boy, and then lifts it to his own head.]
[buzen will go along with it easily when itsuki tugs him along - and it's so quick, the way that a grin stretches across his face as soon as the children come into the room. as quick as ever, buzen goes with the flow and lets all his melancholy all but disappear immediately]
Zuha-san...! Ah, she is pretty...! [RIGHT? the excitement is clear in his voice, even as he laughs as the antics of children, leaning lightly against itsuki as he watches the two try to understand the machine] This small you is cute, too...
['zuha-san'.... cute... even Itsuki doesn't get nickname privileges...
he mouths the words 'small you'??? for a confused moment then leans back, smiling.]
I think we were eleven? Maybe twelve.
[baby itsuki mutters something and kazuha thwaps him on the shoulder, earning her an ow!]
It was before Kazuha started using her powers.
[the hit must have done some good though because itsuki bumps the needle, and the machine immediately comes to life, letting out a warbling, fast-paced ballad. kazuha grabs onto itsuki's sleeve, heedless of the dirt, and starts laughing. I told you!]
[curious, wondering - humans with powers is still so foreign for buzen to understand, but he's appreciative regardless. he holds onto itsuki's hand and then guides it over his head to guide him into a little twirl when the music starts
[this is cute... buzen smiles softly at that even as he steps just a little faster, guiding itsuki out - and then back in so that his back can be against buzen's chest.
he rests his chin on itsuki's shoulder afterward]
Was she not used to dances? You couldn't switch roles...?
...We weren't allowed to. I helped her practice whenever I wasn't working.
[cinderella... Itsuki nuzzles Buzen's cheek, both hands gripping the arms around him.
just in time for a voice to boom outside the hall shouting the name 'kazuha'. the phonograph skips and both of the twins jump, wide-eyed. kazuha darts forward to pull up the needle and then itsuki tugs her to the other door, both of them disappearing through it.]
...Come on. The next part isn't very fun.
[the room shifts, and they're outside now -- on a street lined with cherry blossom trees. itsuki tucks a blossom gently into buzen's hair, and then starts walking, hand in hand]
even though he knows this is a dream, itsuki will probably feel the way that buzen tenses with the shout, one arm immediately stretching out like he's about to step between the angry person in the hall and the direction the kids were going.
but the room shifts, still faster than he is. he blinks a little bit - still looking in that direction like he's still wondering who he's supposed to fight in that memory.... before he turns back to itsuki when a flower gets tucked into his hair]
... it'd be better if kids got a chance to just be kids.
[he follows up the blossom with an affectionate kiss, hoping that it conveys even a small measure of the gratitude he feels. that buzen tried at all, even though it was a memory. he likes that his instinct is to protect... like a guardian sword would do,
he knows they can't change history, but a part of him wonders what his life might have been like -- if he'd met buzen sooner.
(actually what if kazuha crushed on buzen instead................ he promptly deletes this thought from his mind)]
Mm. ...It'd be nice if history could go easy on them. [pauses] I guess I should say 'if humans could go easy on them' instead.
[humans are responsible for this!! they made history sad!!!]
[ . . . hmmm. buzen will just let his expression soften at that. he knows how difficult it can be sometimes, to accept all the terrible things that humans do. but even then, buzen's instinct is still to love them and cherish them, for everything they can still be.
itsuki gives him a kiss, and buzen leans in for another, lingering for a bit there like he's trying to make itsuki's melancholy disappear]
... it would be nice.
But humans come with the good and the bad, though. [he gives itsuki's hand a gentle squeeze before interlacing their fingers] And I wouldn't want to change anything that led you to me.
there's a beat or two of silence, where itsuki's eyes widen a little, emanating wonder.]
...I don't think I would change anything either.
[even though itsuki hated his life, had bemoaned it and wished things were different every time... even though he'd grieved so deeply while at the prism, missing buzen with all his heart,
he brings up their hands so he can kiss their entwined fingers,]
I've lived enough of my life without you. ...I don't want to even imagine a version where you're not there.
[except for whenever i go 'ok but chroma au where i didn't app buzen,'
aside from that buzen seems pretty certain now as his expression softens with the kiss]
I'll always be here for you. And there's no strange amnesia at play around here anymore... so you'll never have to deal with a situation where you don't know me again.
[THE CHROMA AU WHERE ITSUKI RUNS SO FAST AND SO FAR, maybe a little like now, though he doesn't want to run so much as he... visibly falters, gaze dropping to their interlaced hands.
it's been two months and itsuki didn't talk about this???? im crying,
he tries to keep the smile on his face though, instinctive even now.]
...I'm sorry, Buzen.
Not only for forgetting you... But for being scared too. For being afraid of remembering.
[he didn't want to think about it. he got properly scolded, but not from the person he owes an apology]
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... it's hard to say if I know how.
[softly]
... I'm pretty used to it. Knowing I'll say goodbye to almost every human from the start.
[it was only his time in the Prism that interrupted that type of thinking - that made buzen wonder if he could hold onto some people just a little longer]
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[Itsuki can't even imagine saying goodbye to one. He'd come to care for so many at the prism, and he'll never regret those meetings.
But he might come to regret the pain -- of not seeing them again. Especially for those who are already gone.]
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buzen tilts his head at the question.]
... No.
[he's gentle though, as he lets his thumb brush over the back of itsuki's hand]
You're the first person I've ever thought that I'd get to keep for even a little longer.
[and yet
even that is not forever.]
It's a little hard for me to be afraid of something that I always see coming.
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[seeing it coming... but that's not the goodbye he should be focusing on, not when he's on this shore, by this sea.
The breeze around them picks up, ruffling their hair, clothes, buzen's red flag trailing in the wind. Itsuki holds up another chrysanthemum, watching it sway to and fro in his grip.]
Shall we say goodbye to them together?
[his hand opens, and the breeze sweeps the flower up, up, up, and towards the sea.]
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gently, he pulls itsuki closer to him with their joined hands.]
Don't be scared.
Just because we say goodbye doesn't mean we can't say hello again another time.
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...I'd like to believe that, since it's you.
[maybe he can borrow some of buzen's boundless confidence, and his acceptance of what might come to pass. itsuki links his other hand with buzen's, so he can hold them both.
speaking of goodbyes...]
Are you ready to go?
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Mm.
Are we going to wake up? Or are you going to show me something else?
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Itsuki squeezes his hands. He can't take away what Shimabara means to Buzen, but maybe he can lessen its effect... for at least one night.]
Hmm... what would you like to see? I can take us anywhere, and we can do anything. There's still some time left before morning.
[the possibilities are endless.... itsuki about to put them in a fairy tale au]
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he's pretty sure itsuki asked him this question before, and the funny thing is that he really doesn't think that his answer's changed at all. he smiles and tilts his head]
Anything's fine - I'd just like to stay with you.
[so they can be together when they're sleeping, and awake]
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He thinks about all the fantastical sights he could show Buzen -- underwater palaces, grand mountain ranges -- safaris and great, sweeping valleys with wild horses (fast things itsuki knows buzen would appreciate) -- fireworks at night, imaginary ball rooms...
...]
Let me show you a memory in return.
[a wave of petals descends from the sky, swirling around them as the wind picks up again -- the blood fades away from their hands and clothes, the sand beneath their feet turns into familiar tatami -- and then dissipates to reveal a bright, airy room. it's a room meant to entertain guests, loud and garish, but it looks softer in the morning light. a large phonograph sits on one of the low tables, standing out among the rest of the traditional decor.
the sound of hurried footsteps echo from outside the hall, and Itsuki tugs Buzen away from the door, laughing a little when it slides open to reveal children -- a young girl and boy. the girl tugs the boy after her, and they both make straight for the phonograph, neither noticing Itsuki or Buzen.
I told you it was still here. The girl proudly announces, as they both stand in front of it. The boy frowns, and with a voice of half-curiosity, half-doubt. This is supposed to play music...? How?
They both stare it and then look at each other, the similarities between them obvious. The boy looks at the girl's face, and his expression turns wry at what he finds there. Aneue...
She huffs in response. Shut up, Itsuki. It can't be that hard... Hurry up and help me. Itsuki grumbles, but he leans over to study the machine, shoulder to shoulder with Kazuha. The plainness of his clothes contrasts with the finery of her red kimono, but everything else about them is identical.
Itsuki, grown-up Itsuki, hovers his hand over the boy, and then lifts it to his own head.]
Hmm... I thought I was taller back then.
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[buzen will go along with it easily when itsuki tugs him along - and it's so quick, the way that a grin stretches across his face as soon as the children come into the room. as quick as ever, buzen goes with the flow and lets all his melancholy all but disappear immediately]
Zuha-san...! Ah, she is pretty...! [RIGHT? the excitement is clear in his voice, even as he laughs as the antics of children, leaning lightly against itsuki as he watches the two try to understand the machine] This small you is cute, too...
[buzen does not understand aging
but children are sweet]
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he mouths the words 'small you'??? for a confused moment then leans back, smiling.]
I think we were eleven? Maybe twelve.
[baby itsuki mutters something and kazuha thwaps him on the shoulder, earning her an ow!]
It was before Kazuha started using her powers.
[the hit must have done some good though because itsuki bumps the needle, and the machine immediately comes to life, letting out a warbling, fast-paced ballad. kazuha grabs onto itsuki's sleeve, heedless of the dirt, and starts laughing. I told you!]
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[curious, wondering - humans with powers is still so foreign for buzen to understand, but he's appreciative regardless. he holds onto itsuki's hand and then guides it over his head to guide him into a little twirl when the music starts
dancing....]
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a laugh slips out mid-twirl, and baby itsuki laughs right after, taking kazuha's hand in tandem.]
She didn't realize, until she had to use them to protect me.
[hmm... Itsuki puts his free hand on Buzen's waist, attempting to guide him in a slow circle, the same one buzen showed him all those weeks ago.]
Am I doing this right?
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he glances back and tilts his head]
I don't know! [GOD,] Chi taught me some dances... but I'm still not familiar with all human partner dances. But this is fine, right?
[for them to do their clumsy little simile of a waltz together]
You and your aneue really loved each other though, huh. That's good.
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grown up itsuki looks like he's gonna laugh again though.]
Right, one of her memories had dancing in it. I showed her a memory of Kazuha at dance practice.
[a softe sweet memory.... why did garou traumatize chinatsu with itsuki's bang memory, itsuki doesn't know.]
Kazuha wasn't very good at it. I had to help her all the time... I learned to play the shamisen for her.
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he rests his chin on itsuki's shoulder afterward]
Was she not used to dances? You couldn't switch roles...?
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[cinderella... Itsuki nuzzles Buzen's cheek, both hands gripping the arms around him.
just in time for a voice to boom outside the hall shouting the name 'kazuha'. the phonograph skips and both of the twins jump, wide-eyed. kazuha darts forward to pull up the needle and then itsuki tugs her to the other door, both of them disappearing through it.]
...Come on. The next part isn't very fun.
[the room shifts, and they're outside now -- on a street lined with cherry blossom trees. itsuki tucks a blossom gently into buzen's hair, and then starts walking, hand in hand]
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even though he knows this is a dream, itsuki will probably feel the way that buzen tenses with the shout, one arm immediately stretching out like he's about to step between the angry person in the hall and the direction the kids were going.
but the room shifts, still faster than he is. he blinks a little bit - still looking in that direction like he's still wondering who he's supposed to fight in that memory.... before he turns back to itsuki when a flower gets tucked into his hair]
... it'd be better if kids got a chance to just be kids.
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he knows they can't change history, but a part of him wonders what his life might have been like -- if he'd met buzen sooner.
(actually what if kazuha crushed on buzen instead................ he promptly deletes this thought from his mind)]
Mm. ...It'd be nice if history could go easy on them. [pauses] I guess I should say 'if humans could go easy on them' instead.
[humans are responsible for this!! they made history sad!!!]
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itsuki gives him a kiss, and buzen leans in for another, lingering for a bit there like he's trying to make itsuki's melancholy disappear]
... it would be nice.
But humans come with the good and the bad, though. [he gives itsuki's hand a gentle squeeze before interlacing their fingers] And I wouldn't want to change anything that led you to me.
I hope that's alright.
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there's a beat or two of silence, where itsuki's eyes widen a little, emanating wonder.]
...I don't think I would change anything either.
[even though itsuki hated his life, had bemoaned it and wished things were different every time... even though he'd grieved so deeply while at the prism, missing buzen with all his heart,
he brings up their hands so he can kiss their entwined fingers,]
I've lived enough of my life without you. ...I don't want to even imagine a version where you're not there.
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[except for whenever i go 'ok but chroma au where i didn't app buzen,'
aside from that buzen seems pretty certain now as his expression softens with the kiss]
I'll always be here for you. And there's no strange amnesia at play around here anymore... so you'll never have to deal with a situation where you don't know me again.
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it's been two months and itsuki didn't talk about this???? im crying,
he tries to keep the smile on his face though, instinctive even now.]
...I'm sorry, Buzen.
Not only for forgetting you... But for being scared too. For being afraid of remembering.
[he didn't want to think about it. he got properly scolded, but not from the person he owes an apology]
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that said
buzen is just going to tilt his head at that]
... I forgive you?
I'm not mad. Weren't you going to kick my ass because I wasn't mad?
[BUZEN REALLY WOULD'VE LET ITSUKI STAY IN HIS AMNESIAC AU UNTIL THEY REUNITED A MONTH LATER HELP]
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