[Leo ages Tsukasa a thousand years. He's sure that he's 15 going on 50. The second assurance that he's loved coupled with the playful little bump manages to get him to glance over, both tired and confused all at once. Could this confusing, annoying, genius, pain of a Leader really manage to love him?
He won't think about it.
(There's still a slight blush on his cheeks anyway.)]
Mm, I see... I've never acted as a lyricist before. But I will do my best.
[His brow furrows as he tries to focus, thinking about what the topics of Knights songs have been before. Dedication. Loyalty. Chivalry. All the things that he'd already believed in... but he couldn't say the same things over again, could he?]
What I find important is... growing? Constantly improving, heading toward one goal and...
[It's a bit of a ramble, as if he's nervous to get to the heart of it, but... it's for the song, right? It's important. He really shouldn't skirt around it, that's not knightly at all. A pause before he turns to Leo, meeting his eyes with a certain, unshakeable kind of confidence.]
Being an equal to those that I admire - standing next to them proudly.
[ . . . ]
Oh!
[IS THIS WHAT INSPIRATION FEELS LIKE! He breaks their gaze to actually reach for one of the blank notebooks so that he can jot some lines down! Just like that, before it disappears.
[ ahaha. leo opens one eye to meet tsukasa's gaze when he feels that his attention is successfully pulled. then there's the vocal train of thought that's being released, and leo really is so interested; he draws his knees up closer to his body and props his arms on them, letting his chin rest there as he observes ever so fondly. there was really no way to read minds, like they'd touched on — but this was the closest thing.
hearing what was important to tsukasa, one of his knights... that's the best kind of music, right?
so, he laughs when tsukasa reaches for a notebook (like for that second he'd copied one of leo's impulsive actions purposefully) and it's not like that silly, boisterous laughter he usually lets out, but something different and more level, almost proud yet equally amused.
he smiles, of course. ]
Ahah. Guess what, Suo~? I found something new to love just now.
[ shamelessly, but he doesn't elaborate. instead, he says: ]
But, look...! The rush of what you want to say, loudly going zoooom in your mind. It's the best, isn't it? [ and that levelness peels away, leaving his energy to bloom again, his earnest interest bubbling over with the sight of tsukasa's reaching out, getting it. and leo unravels, leaning backwards so that he can pound his fists on his drawn up knees. ] So don't stop, go all out, keep trying! I wanna hear it all!
[He echoes it vaguely, though he does spare a glance up from the paper, tilting his head. Look, he's not as far gone as Leo to the point where he can disappear off into his own little void for the sake of inspiration and whatever else. He's still proper! It's important to listen to what other people have to say!
But the encouragement is there - it's properly... Leaderly, even though Tsukasa doesn't want to admit even that out loud.]
I'm still not like you, you know... It's not like I have a lot of inspiration or can say such words so shamelessly... Leader is an entirely different kind of person?
[It is a little frustrating to think - Leo outclasses him in every single way except. You know. Being a person. But when it comes to talents he has them in spades.
Yet this infuriatingly talented person is still cheering him on so...]
But I can still try... Mm, what else should go in lyrics...?
[ oh. while tsukasa's thinking about that, leo's thinking about something else entirely. his lips are pressed together, and he waits, obviously wanting to say something but uncertain on whether or not he should.
that was like... two steps backwards. no, no, no good at all. so in the silence of lyric writing, leo leans forward again, his chin on his knees and arms outstretched in front of him as he taps on the floor. ]
Hey, hey, before all of that... Inspiration isn't like composing. Can't teach you either of them for different reasons... But saying you don't have a lot of inspiration is wrong. We're not the same, right—you wouldn't wanna be me anyway, 'cause you're you, but we're both still people! And people have a lot within them, y'know?
[ especially knights when they're not fucking unconscious in a coffin or breaking laws (or maybe especially during those moments too who the hell knows), which means suou's definitely included in leo's list of "people who sparkle".
now that that's done: ]
Now, lyrics! More... [ can he join in the english train, since they're bonding with Things They Do, kinda? yes, with an accent that's horrible: ] shameless! And at the end, I can tell you about that something new.
[OOHH, THAT ENGLISH, IT HURTS HIM. and Tsukasa has given up long, long, long ago on being nice to Leo...... the insult definitely just escapes him naturally
[JUST ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE LEO..... Just one... There are many.... But honestly, Tsukasa's kind of easily baited when it comes to his senpai even now. He wants to learn from Leo? He wants to know more about Leo? So if he can meet this goal, could he also meet his other goal?
Is it not killing two birds with one stone?]
To be more shameless.... I suppose that makes sense - if it's meant to be consumed by the audience, it should be something that they want to hear? Something that resonates with them....
[It's not as if Tsukasa knows what commoners think though? Ugh. Well, at the base, their emotions are supposed to be the same, right? So he's looking down at the notebook he's scribbled on, humming idly the melody that he recalls from Leo's sketches.]
It's not - odd... to wish to spend more time with someone you admire, right? [A tap of his pencil against the paper, some light scribbling.]
Doing... hm, anything? [His brow furrows, a shake of his head! Then some erasing...] No, that's not enough. Perhaps... everything?
[ . . . ]
Hmm, this is embarrassing... Is that the point, Leader?
[ but judging from the way he lets that linger in the air before bursting out in a short laugh again, he definitely had 10000% known what he was doing with that, so he just lets that run its course before he settles down. and by "settle down" i mean the laughter dulls to just an amused edge in his words, the grin set full and bright on his face.
and because he always needs to be moving (he spent so much time still after all), his hands are tapping out an accompanying, supporting rhythm lightly as tsukasa hums, and even afterwards. just in the background. ]
Okay, okay, I'll stop! I can definitely hear your displeased comment bubbling up now, all—
[ and here he imitates the whistling of a kettle, motioning like something's about to burst and completely derailing the entire thing. he's used to stopping the bitching before it starts even when he baits it out
that is how you know he interacts with izumi sena. serious now, serious now, though as serious as leo can get. which is actually... pretty serious, and yet his demeanour remains the same, and he cycles through his moods and words with no effort at all. ]
—Like I was saying... Maybe? [ he changed his damn answer ] It's just proof you really feel what you're writing, right? Honestly, I kind of wonder who you're directing those pure thoughts at, hahaha!
[WHY IS!! HIS LEADER LIKE THIS!!! Ughhh, except he's fussed for two reasons now?! His thoughts aren't "pure" or anything like that, okay! They're just! Sincere! They're just....
They're just what he thinks. And perhaps later, when he reflects on it, he'll realize that he should be directing those types of thoughts toward his onee-sama, maybe. Toward their beloved producer who does so much for them, who he felt so much affection for that he wanted to kiss her. But instead, the idea that he wants to do everything is directed toward...........]
Idiot...
[well.
him or Leo?
Another shake of his head, embarrassed and worked up as he is over his stupid Leader!]
I-It doesn't matter, does it? That sort of feeling... can't it be understood by everyone? [ . . . and then a little quieter, unsure because he really doesn't? understand a lot about commoners even now?] Or am I wrong...?
[ called out in english again IT HURTS. not that he's phased at all by it-he's just swaying again to the side at that, lightly bumping into tsukasa again (though he is at least careful enough to make sure mister baby doesn't have his pencil near the notebook. he's not going to be responsible for a giant WHOOPSIE right over all of that hard work, okay? ]
Take that! For being rude! In english!
[ except that was light as fuck, as light as leo's tone, which means he's not serious about that at all.
he kind of lingers though, this time--a quiet afterthought as he continues to lean slightly, begins to think with suou's words. can it be understood by everyone? it's hard to say, but leo thinks so; he's even personally felt it, those moments where he wished more and more that he had stayed by their sides, continued to do everything with them, rather than run away. he'd already told tsukasa hints of his thoughts on that, but it still lingers in the air regardless, this time unsaid.
save for this: ]
You're right, but-- [ its a rare moment of hesitation, here, as leo lingers on his words. he hums again slightly, no tune in particular--just a quiet sound to fill the silence before he seems to decide. ] --"doesn't matter" is wrong, all right? It matters, even if it's just me being nosy. I bet it matters to that person you're thinking of, and it matters when that's where your feelings come from. O~kay?
[ a pause. ]
Aahhh, talking like this so much is making me tired...
[BUMPED INTO and he's grumbling again because his Leader is a child! A child!! It's probably not very dignified to grumble and make faces like this either but you know, Tsukasa is also a child. So that works out pretty okay. Probably.
Anyway he's just going to shift then, as if that'll keep Leo from bumping into him again, before considering the words that his leader says and
internally panic
Because that's also! A really Leader-y thing to say! It's a really nice thing to say?! And sure he follows it up with something annoying and lazy and presumptuous, as Leos are wont to do, but.... it doesn't take away from what he said before. It's enough to sent Tsukasa into a bit of a tizzy because-
Because should he just tell Leo that he's thinking of. Well. Him?]
.... Leader, do you -
Don't you ever think about how you come across to other people...
[It sounds like a scold - probably because that's just how Tsukasa talks to Leo, that's how it's always been - but. Well. In a way, it may just be a hint to answer Leo's nosiness without Tsukasa having to sacrifice all of his pride.]
[ mumbles leo, completely answering the question, completely still leaning onto suou just the slightest even when he shifts (you see, he's shifting too to match). his answer'll come, but it comes when he wants it to, as always. but it will come, and maybe he'll mull on it, maybe he won't.
one beat, two beat, then: ]
Nope.
[ that was simple
just out of the blue, as if the question was posed right then and there and not a just a few little moments ago. there's a lull after that, and then he rises, taking some of the small weight he was shoving on tsukasa off. not that he quite straightens, no, but... ]
... Well...! Nope, nope's a lie. Once in a while, I think if I'm doing a good job with you guys, what you all think... [ he shrugs. ] Besides that, not at all! Oh, then there's when I think about what kind of things the aliens are thinking of when they look at me, or pick up on my ucchu ☆, y'know?
[ ...
no, wait. leo can be— a bit much, sometimes, but he's also somewhat perceptive, intuitive. mostly because he goes with his gut in a lot of moments, or maybe it's because he just really pays attention to his knights in particular. tsukasa's new, but definitely still one of "his knights" (their knights), as much as he might not deserve them, so...
what he feels suou is saying catches him off-guard, honestly.
and for once, he's actually not sure what to say. if that's what the younger knight is trying to imply, then he. definitely wasn't expecting that. dON'T WRITE LYRICS WITH HIM IN MIND??? ]
He hates Leo SO MUCH BECAUSE why does he always pick the worst possible times to actually be perceptive? To actually pick up on what Tsukasa's putting down instead of sort of just ignoring everything and doing everything on his own??? why, WHY. leaning against him as he is, he probably feels when Tsukasa stiffens up and turns away abruptly like the snotty little brat he is and insists]
Not like that!
[okay but
yes, like that
HE'S EMBARRASSED, LEAVE HIM ALONE but he's not sure what to do??? He tends to keep these sort of things to himself or confides strictly to those who wouldn't tell like Anzu but. BUT
APPARENTLY SHAMELESS LYRIC WRITING LEADS HIM TO THIS AND to thinking about how much he actually respects the leader who composed the song for him in the first place. Who thought of him and treasured him enough to think that he deserved something of his own to wield as an idol.... isn't that some sort of validation? Isn't that the sort of attention that he craves?
not that he wants Leo's attention specifically
(probably)
ugh]
I... It's - It's really pig-headed of you to think that it's strictly about you, you know!! I recognize that I am the weakest link among Knights and so - so I wish to improve alongside everyone, to learn from all my seniors, is all...!!
[ . . . but. It's not. Good to lie, is it? So even though it's the truth, it's not the whole truth... He's definitely still not looking at Leo but. It wouldn't feel right to act like Leo was completely off.]
... But also -
You are our King whom we serve... and even though you are pig-headed and infuriating and idiotic at times, it is not as though I can completely hate you... I spent a long time looking for you, you know? As such, it's only fair to spend just as long a time getting to know you. Even if I am outclassed and unpolished, I still... wish to serve.
[ ah yes it's his turn to internally panic because aaaaAH fuck this was a mistake. leo said "shameless" and now leo's the other one on the end of a shameless emotional dump sundae and he's not sure what to say. because there's always been an appreciation and an implicit gratitude that everything and everyone he adored accepted him back as they did even after he failed them; an appreciation and an implicit gratitude that tsukasa's somewhat accepted him despite his eccentricities and the sudden way he arrived, that suou tried in his own way to hold knights up.
... except tsukasa's just saying everything out loud now, and it's so much easier for leo to shower that affection than to receive it so directly. this is it, the wildcard spoiled brat he came back to, who he sometimes can predict and at other times can't predict at all. and it's not a bad thing, not at all; it's wonderful, and beautiful, and leo really loves watching tsukasa grow and live more and more, but.
that warmth in his chest that's usually so empowering and a source of pride is also getting a little suffocating, too? ah, god—
tsukasa'll definitely get when leo lifts himself up, completely taking his weight off as he ceases to lean. ]
Hahaha. [ the laugh isn't loud, isn't a cackle. he almost feels shy, which is hilarious. tsukasa is saying he feels outclassed, and yet for a moment leo feels the same way. this brat— ] If you make double-edged lyrics like that, they might not reach everyone.
[ he stops.
but, well.
hm.
those words definitely reached him. ]
... Hearing all that, though... "It doesn't matter" was the wrong thing to put near those thoughts, yep. [ ... ] Don't worry, Suo~. We'll definitely all walk together.
[ words, words, words. he mumbles that to himself, sorting through his mind as he attempts to put himself together, as everything ebbs and flows.
a pause, and he continues, swaying slightly: ]
I want to say thank you, but "thank you" feels like kinda the wrong words to say. Too weak, too... [ he needs something grander. which is what music is for. ] ... Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve Knights like you. You've definitely grown... you're definitely growing...! And if this place is where that's happening, then I want you to stay at my pig-headed, infuriating side as long as possible.
[ even if he doesn't deserve it. selfish, maybe it's selfish—but this is what he has, and he's going to do everything in his power to make sure it's never given up again, that everyone under his care shines to their full potential. that they don't come short, and then flee.
[When Leo shifts, Tsukasa does too - like a brief back and forth. While he's originally been shifting away, he almost follows now. Almost. As if there's an invisible string connecting the two of them but... well, he catches himself before the movement becomes too obvious and he bumps right back into Leo.
Still though, the words manage to get him to blink, turning back to his Leader - if he's receiving praise from his lord, should he not accept it head on? Directly? Like a proper knight? - and he feels something warm in his own chest.
For so long, Leo has always felt so far, whether he's running ahead to a location he doesn't even know or if he's all the way up in space in his own imagination. Even if they sat side by side, Tsukasa wondered if his leader's attention was truly on him. If there was any way to connect. But with that sheepish laugh, the promise that they'll all walk together... he can't help but smile, even if he's still undoubtedly embarrassed.
Did my words manage to reach you?
There's a blush on his cheeks and he's ducking his head a moment later, arranging his bangs as if that's what he's truly doing instead of the fact that he's too embarrassed to really meet his upperclassmen head on once again.]
... Thank you, Leader. It's good to be home.
[And he glances up, a bit of cheeky nerve acting up even still-]
[ ... honestly. leo lets those emotions sink, unsure how to really handle them in a proper way. he accepts them, for sure—he loves them, the flicker of a spark they hit in him, the beginning notes of another song. who would've thought this is what he would've ended up with, when he first saw what he thought was just a subdued newborn brat in a glass cage?
a bump back from tsukasa, an honest admission, the confirmation that this is "home" and leo's here too. yeah... this is definitely why he came back, why he'll always come back. ]
If I wasn't, I'm starting to feel I'd be dragged back real quick!
[ which... isn't a bad thing. the way he says this is almost transparently fond. he won't run away, and if he ever does falter (which he won't), he knows tsukasa wouldn't let him look back.
he's glad he's here. his heart's beating a little wilder than usual in his chest, and he raises a hand to his chin in realization of that. yeah, he's really glad he's here— ]
[It's impossible for Tsukasa to keep from laughing at that, gently amused. It's a little different from his proper, polished laugh that's meant to charm and endear - there's a very brief tinge of something mean to it. But considering the arrogant way in which he tilts his head to look back over at his Leader, something way too self-assured and confident in his eyes....
Well, at least the whole package matches.]
I have already promised you that, haven't I? Whatever it takes, Leader.
I, your Knight, won't accept serving an empty throne ever again. Just as this is my home, my place is also where I should be with you. Isn't that simply the way?
[ . . . hm. He hums softly again, as if surprised by a thought, and then presses his pencil to paper again. It's not the first time that he'd had this thought, but perhaps it makes for a fairly pretty lyric too.
My home is at your side.
It's unpolished - he's not even sure if it fits in with the melody, it'll probably have to be edited - but it's definitely shameless and sincere.]
[ ... this handful of a knight. isn't that simply the way? he won't accept serving an empty throne? the words, the laughter, the expression—all of it is so arrogant, and yet the only thing that leo can think is that that's all interesting. that confidence is wonderful to see.
and a bunch of complicated something elses that he can't quite place.
maybe he's bested for once, as leo feels an unfamiliar heat rise to his cheeks. it's one thing to know the strength of that loyalty, the strength of the emotions directed his way; it's another thing to hear them, and sometimes he feels as if he'll handle situations like these clumsily.
he tilts his head, and smiles. ]
You're making it the way with that forceful speech, huh? [ ... ] ... Well, I wouldn't choose anything else. I promised too, right—I won't give up this crown until you guys rise above everyone else.
[ and even then, will suou let him leave? who knows. maybe beyond that, leo has to ask himself if that's what he'll want to do, in the end.
after all.
it's that confident sparkle in tsukasa's eyes, the bursts of inspiration he says he doesn't have but the proof of the contrary truth is right in front of him, in the way he writes—that's that "something new" he's learned to love. with that, leo leans a bit, curious and attempting to read what's in the notebook. ]
[In truth, Tsukasa doesn't want Leo to leave. Even after they regain their former glory, even after Knights becomes the unit that reigns over all else, even after all that.... where would they be without their Leader? Perhaps Leo will say that he will want to go on a long journey or wander elsewhere once their time together is done but -
already, Tsukasa knows that he doesn't want that.
He wants to live alongside Leo for as long as possible - but that's something that he can't bring himself to say yet, not just yet. There's still more to learn, to understand, to really comprehend... but he can wait. He'll be patient.
The question manages to get him to snap out of his reverie, a moment of hesitation as he looks over his lyrics again - they're unpolished and will require heavy editing, he knows he wants to write some lyrics in English but that's something that he'll be going over later - but well. After his Leader is writing a song for him... can't he do this? So he'll pause, the confidence in handling Leo faltering when it comes to reflecting over his own work - ]
Mm.... It's very incomplete but.... I suppose.
[so he'll shift the notebook so that Leo can read the phrases and lyrics that came from Tsukasa's pencil, disjointed and not even forming entire verses just yet, but still retaining the ideas that he wants to convey
It's only ever you that I'll be running to. If you would only stay, I'd never waste a day.
Please welcome me home.
Would you mind doing everything with me? For even now, there's no place I'd rather be.
[ no, seriously. he mulls over the lyrics, those something elses pulling at his mind, and for a moment he pauses.
right, right, this is for everyone in knights, and it's definitely confirmation that suou's thoughts are pure, earnest. he's glad that this is the place of belonging that tsukasa's found—that knights spark these kinds of feelings in him. that this inspiration is so genuine that leo can pull it out the words.
they could use work, of course, but the most important thing in leo's opinion has slotted into his mind, and that's fine. ]
... Yeah, I see... I see—! It's just blooming, but it's really running wild, huh...?
[ excuse him as he looks up. back down, to the words. then he shifts. there's a sudden rush of something in him; a sudden movement through the notebooks and notebooks and notebooks laying around him. he makes adjustments to the music quickly, slotting it easier into the concept tsukasa's crafting and the direction leo is being dragged in, his tongue peeking out from the corner of his lips as he writes and writes and adjusts.
that's what the skips of leo's heart are for, right? the inspiration building in him, pushing against his ribcage.
he doesn't vocalize his thoughts, because he's not too sure he can just yet. and really, when has leo ever explained anything in the middle of his fervent genius? ]
[The sudden movement manages to surprise Tsukasa, enough to get him to sigh a little bit at first, giving his ever prompt scolding:] Really Leader, you always act on your own....
[Though - given the fact that it's for the sake of his own song, he can't quite complain, can he? No, that wouldn't be fair. So Tsukasa instead watches as Leo's pencil writes and writes and writes - unable to really believe that the music is original and flowing out so naturally. Isn't his Leader a rather impressive person? Excitable like a child, but the embarrassed look on his face earlier was enjoyable too.
Overall, it's almost kind of - ]
Cute....
[At least it's said softly before Tsukasa laughs behind his hand, so sure that Leo's so busy in his writing that he's not paying attention to his underclassmen anymore. Instead, Tsukasa shifts to try to read the adjusted music and he finds himself humming. It's perfectly in his key, which is impressive and infuriating and embarrassing all over again because of course Leo can compose something flawless so easily....
It's a bit too much.
Still, he supposes it's best to try to fit the two together so he reads over an edited line again, pausing and then testing out the lyrics to the tune.]
[ yeah, he is a little too absorbed in the explosion of creativity to register tsukasa's first compliment, or the understandable complaints. there's only his lyrics, the message, the little spark tsukasa's words and confident gestures started, that's quickly turning into a fire.
but eventually, he does stop. not completely willingly, but because another thing cuts through his inspirational daze. that is, tsukasa's voice, and when leo hears the slight preview of what they've made together he... well, first he lets his pencil linger in the air, as if frozen in time. then his eyes shut, and he takes in the line, repeating it in his mind, assessing it and letting his imagination fill in the rest of what may come.
and you know, for once, he really doesn't think his mind is doing what may come enough justice at all-- ]
Hmmm. A little longer at the end... [ a small hum. ] A little more... And I don't even think flying too close to the sun'll stop us! Wahaha! What do you call Icarus without melted wings?!
[ because it'd been a pretty apt description for him before, but right now he's not so sure. right now all he knows is he needs to hear more, and he pulls a notebook into his hands, extends it to his current muse. ]
[That's his attempt of answering Leo's question - even though there probably isn't much of a good answer available? Really, why does his leader always speak in such riddles? Even so, he's going to take the notebook that's offered from him, eyes scanning the page and humming the tune. His sight reading has only gotten better and better, thank goodness, even though it's still far from perfect.
But he'll keep trying to improve from here - for his sake as well as Knights.
Isn't the person next to him the one that he's wanted to impress since the beginning?
So he repeats: hums the line once more, makes sure that he has the melody correctly even though it's so fresh from Leo's own mind. Then meeting his leader's eyes, hoping to be enough (please let him be enough), he delivers the combination of the music and lyrics.]
Please welcome me home - [and because he's amused, entertained by being bossed around by Leo when his leader is actually properly leading him] - my lord. ♫
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no subject
He won't think about it.
(There's still a slight blush on his cheeks anyway.)]
Mm, I see... I've never acted as a lyricist before. But I will do my best.
[His brow furrows as he tries to focus, thinking about what the topics of Knights songs have been before. Dedication. Loyalty. Chivalry. All the things that he'd already believed in... but he couldn't say the same things over again, could he?]
What I find important is... growing? Constantly improving, heading toward one goal and...
[It's a bit of a ramble, as if he's nervous to get to the heart of it, but... it's for the song, right? It's important. He really shouldn't skirt around it, that's not knightly at all. A pause before he turns to Leo, meeting his eyes with a certain, unshakeable kind of confidence.]
Being an equal to those that I admire - standing next to them proudly.
[ . . . ]
Oh!
[IS THIS WHAT INSPIRATION FEELS LIKE! He breaks their gaze to actually reach for one of the blank notebooks so that he can jot some lines down! Just like that, before it disappears.
Ah, he sort of understands now.]
no subject
hearing what was important to tsukasa, one of his knights... that's the best kind of music, right?
so, he laughs when tsukasa reaches for a notebook (like for that second he'd copied one of leo's impulsive actions purposefully) and it's not like that silly, boisterous laughter he usually lets out, but something different and more level, almost proud yet equally amused.
he smiles, of course. ]
Ahah. Guess what, Suo~? I found something new to love just now.
[ shamelessly, but he doesn't elaborate. instead, he says: ]
But, look...! The rush of what you want to say, loudly going zoooom in your mind. It's the best, isn't it? [ and that levelness peels away, leaving his energy to bloom again, his earnest interest bubbling over with the sight of tsukasa's reaching out, getting it. and leo unravels, leaning backwards so that he can pound his fists on his drawn up knees. ] So don't stop, go all out, keep trying! I wanna hear it all!
no subject
[He echoes it vaguely, though he does spare a glance up from the paper, tilting his head. Look, he's not as far gone as Leo to the point where he can disappear off into his own little void for the sake of inspiration and whatever else. He's still proper! It's important to listen to what other people have to say!
But the encouragement is there - it's properly... Leaderly, even though Tsukasa doesn't want to admit even that out loud.]
I'm still not like you, you know... It's not like I have a lot of inspiration or can say such words so shamelessly... Leader is an entirely different kind of person?
[It is a little frustrating to think - Leo outclasses him in every single way except. You know. Being a person. But when it comes to talents he has them in spades.
Yet this infuriatingly talented person is still cheering him on so...]
But I can still try... Mm, what else should go in lyrics...?
no subject
that was like... two steps backwards. no, no, no good at all. so in the silence of lyric writing, leo leans forward again, his chin on his knees and arms outstretched in front of him as he taps on the floor. ]
Hey, hey, before all of that... Inspiration isn't like composing. Can't teach you either of them for different reasons... But saying you don't have a lot of inspiration is wrong. We're not the same, right—you wouldn't wanna be me anyway, 'cause you're you, but we're both still people! And people have a lot within them, y'know?
[ especially knights when they're not fucking unconscious in a coffin or breaking laws (or maybe especially during those moments too who the hell knows), which means suou's definitely included in leo's list of "people who sparkle".
now that that's done: ]
Now, lyrics! More... [ can he join in the english train, since they're bonding with Things They Do, kinda? yes, with an accent that's horrible: ] shameless! And at the end, I can tell you about that something new.
[ stop leo
don't listen to him. ]
[1/2]
first of all]
Don't ever do that again.
[OOHH, THAT ENGLISH, IT HURTS HIM. and Tsukasa has given up long, long, long ago on being nice to Leo...... the insult definitely just escapes him naturally
DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN]
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Is it not killing two birds with one stone?]
To be more shameless.... I suppose that makes sense - if it's meant to be consumed by the audience, it should be something that they want to hear? Something that resonates with them....
[It's not as if Tsukasa knows what commoners think though? Ugh. Well, at the base, their emotions are supposed to be the same, right? So he's looking down at the notebook he's scribbled on, humming idly the melody that he recalls from Leo's sketches.]
It's not - odd... to wish to spend more time with someone you admire, right? [A tap of his pencil against the paper, some light scribbling.]
Doing... hm, anything? [His brow furrows, a shake of his head! Then some erasing...] No, that's not enough. Perhaps... everything?
[ . . . ]
Hmm, this is embarrassing... Is that the point, Leader?
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[ in, again, broken english.
not listening what else is new ]
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and because he always needs to be moving (he spent so much time still after all), his hands are tapping out an accompanying, supporting rhythm lightly as tsukasa hums, and even afterwards. just in the background. ]
Okay, okay, I'll stop! I can definitely hear your displeased comment bubbling up now, all—
[ and here he imitates the whistling of a kettle, motioning like something's about to burst and completely derailing the entire thing. he's used to stopping the bitching before it starts even when he baits it out
that is how you know he interacts with izumi sena. serious now, serious now, though as serious as leo can get. which is actually... pretty serious, and yet his demeanour remains the same, and he cycles through his moods and words with no effort at all. ]
—Like I was saying... Maybe? [ he changed his damn answer ] It's just proof you really feel what you're writing, right? Honestly, I kind of wonder who you're directing those pure thoughts at, hahaha!
[ stop leo ]
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[WHY IS!! HIS LEADER LIKE THIS!!! Ughhh, except he's fussed for two reasons now?! His thoughts aren't "pure" or anything like that, okay! They're just! Sincere! They're just....
They're just what he thinks. And perhaps later, when he reflects on it, he'll realize that he should be directing those types of thoughts toward his onee-sama, maybe. Toward their beloved producer who does so much for them, who he felt so much affection for that he wanted to kiss her. But instead, the idea that he wants to do everything is directed toward...........]
Idiot...
[well.
him or Leo?
Another shake of his head, embarrassed and worked up as he is over his stupid Leader!]
I-It doesn't matter, does it? That sort of feeling... can't it be understood by everyone? [ . . . and then a little quieter, unsure because he really doesn't? understand a lot about commoners even now?] Or am I wrong...?
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Take that! For being rude! In english!
[ except that was light as fuck, as light as leo's tone, which means he's not serious about that at all.
he kind of lingers though, this time--a quiet afterthought as he continues to lean slightly, begins to think with suou's words. can it be understood by everyone? it's hard to say, but leo thinks so; he's even personally felt it, those moments where he wished more and more that he had stayed by their sides, continued to do everything with them, rather than run away. he'd already told tsukasa hints of his thoughts on that, but it still lingers in the air regardless, this time unsaid.
save for this: ]
You're right, but-- [ its a rare moment of hesitation, here, as leo lingers on his words. he hums again slightly, no tune in particular--just a quiet sound to fill the silence before he seems to decide. ] --"doesn't matter" is wrong, all right? It matters, even if it's just me being nosy. I bet it matters to that person you're thinking of, and it matters when that's where your feelings come from. O~kay?
[ a pause. ]
Aahhh, talking like this so much is making me tired...
[ staying here ok ]
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Anyway he's just going to shift then, as if that'll keep Leo from bumping into him again, before considering the words that his leader says and
internally panic
Because that's also! A really Leader-y thing to say! It's a really nice thing to say?! And sure he follows it up with something annoying and lazy and presumptuous, as Leos are wont to do, but.... it doesn't take away from what he said before. It's enough to sent Tsukasa into a bit of a tizzy because-
Because should he just tell Leo that he's thinking of. Well. Him?]
.... Leader, do you -
Don't you ever think about how you come across to other people...
[It sounds like a scold - probably because that's just how Tsukasa talks to Leo, that's how it's always been - but. Well. In a way, it may just be a hint to answer Leo's nosiness without Tsukasa having to sacrifice all of his pride.]
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[ mumbles leo, completely answering the question, completely still leaning onto suou just the slightest even when he shifts (you see, he's shifting too to match). his answer'll come, but it comes when he wants it to, as always. but it will come, and maybe he'll mull on it, maybe he won't.
one beat, two beat, then: ]
Nope.
[ that was simple
just out of the blue, as if the question was posed right then and there and not a just a few little moments ago. there's a lull after that, and then he rises, taking some of the small weight he was shoving on tsukasa off. not that he quite straightens, no, but... ]
... Well...! Nope, nope's a lie. Once in a while, I think if I'm doing a good job with you guys, what you all think... [ he shrugs. ] Besides that, not at all! Oh, then there's when I think about what kind of things the aliens are thinking of when they look at me, or pick up on my ucchu ☆, y'know?
[ ...
no, wait. leo can be— a bit much, sometimes, but he's also somewhat perceptive, intuitive. mostly because he goes with his gut in a lot of moments, or maybe it's because he just really pays attention to his knights in particular. tsukasa's new, but definitely still one of "his knights" (their knights), as much as he might not deserve them, so...
what he feels suou is saying catches him off-guard, honestly.
and for once, he's actually not sure what to say. if that's what the younger knight is trying to imply, then he. definitely wasn't expecting that. dON'T WRITE LYRICS WITH HIM IN MIND??? ]
Ah, wait. Are you...?
[ is it his turn to internally panic ]
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He hates Leo SO MUCH BECAUSE why does he always pick the worst possible times to actually be perceptive? To actually pick up on what Tsukasa's putting down instead of sort of just ignoring everything and doing everything on his own??? why, WHY. leaning against him as he is, he probably feels when Tsukasa stiffens up and turns away abruptly like the snotty little brat he is and insists]
Not like that!
[okay but
yes, like that
HE'S EMBARRASSED, LEAVE HIM ALONE but he's not sure what to do??? He tends to keep these sort of things to himself or confides strictly to those who wouldn't tell like Anzu but. BUT
APPARENTLY SHAMELESS LYRIC WRITING LEADS HIM TO THIS AND to thinking about how much he actually respects the leader who composed the song for him in the first place. Who thought of him and treasured him enough to think that he deserved something of his own to wield as an idol.... isn't that some sort of validation? Isn't that the sort of attention that he craves?
not that he wants Leo's attention specifically
(probably)
ugh]
I... It's - It's really pig-headed of you to think that it's strictly about you, you know!! I recognize that I am the weakest link among Knights and so - so I wish to improve alongside everyone, to learn from all my seniors, is all...!!
[ . . . but. It's not. Good to lie, is it? So even though it's the truth, it's not the whole truth... He's definitely still not looking at Leo but. It wouldn't feel right to act like Leo was completely off.]
... But also -
You are our King whom we serve... and even though you are pig-headed and infuriating and idiotic at times, it is not as though I can completely hate you... I spent a long time looking for you, you know? As such, it's only fair to spend just as long a time getting to know you. Even if I am outclassed and unpolished, I still... wish to serve.
That is what I think.
[That's -
That's what he means.]
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... except tsukasa's just saying everything out loud now, and it's so much easier for leo to shower that affection than to receive it so directly. this is it, the wildcard spoiled brat he came back to, who he sometimes can predict and at other times can't predict at all. and it's not a bad thing, not at all; it's wonderful, and beautiful, and leo really loves watching tsukasa grow and live more and more, but.
that warmth in his chest that's usually so empowering and a source of pride is also getting a little suffocating, too? ah, god—
tsukasa'll definitely get when leo lifts himself up, completely taking his weight off as he ceases to lean. ]
Hahaha. [ the laugh isn't loud, isn't a cackle. he almost feels shy, which is hilarious. tsukasa is saying he feels outclassed, and yet for a moment leo feels the same way. this brat— ] If you make double-edged lyrics like that, they might not reach everyone.
[ he stops.
but, well.
hm.
those words definitely reached him. ]
... Hearing all that, though... "It doesn't matter" was the wrong thing to put near those thoughts, yep. [ ... ] Don't worry, Suo~. We'll definitely all walk together.
[ words, words, words. he mumbles that to himself, sorting through his mind as he attempts to put himself together, as everything ebbs and flows.
a pause, and he continues, swaying slightly: ]
I want to say thank you, but "thank you" feels like kinda the wrong words to say. Too weak, too... [ he needs something grander. which is what music is for. ] ... Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve Knights like you. You've definitely grown... you're definitely growing...! And if this place is where that's happening, then I want you to stay at my pig-headed, infuriating side as long as possible.
[ even if he doesn't deserve it. selfish, maybe it's selfish—but this is what he has, and he's going to do everything in his power to make sure it's never given up again, that everyone under his care shines to their full potential. that they don't come short, and then flee.
he really does love suou. ]
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[ ... ]
—Welcome home!
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Still though, the words manage to get him to blink, turning back to his Leader - if he's receiving praise from his lord, should he not accept it head on? Directly? Like a proper knight? - and he feels something warm in his own chest.
For so long, Leo has always felt so far, whether he's running ahead to a location he doesn't even know or if he's all the way up in space in his own imagination. Even if they sat side by side, Tsukasa wondered if his leader's attention was truly on him. If there was any way to connect. But with that sheepish laugh, the promise that they'll all walk together... he can't help but smile, even if he's still undoubtedly embarrassed.
Did my words manage to reach you?
There's a blush on his cheeks and he's ducking his head a moment later, arranging his bangs as if that's what he's truly doing instead of the fact that he's too embarrassed to really meet his upperclassmen head on once again.]
... Thank you, Leader. It's good to be home.
[And he glances up, a bit of cheeky nerve acting up even still-]
I'm glad you're here, too.
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a bump back from tsukasa, an honest admission, the confirmation that this is "home" and leo's here too. yeah... this is definitely why he came back, why he'll always come back. ]
If I wasn't, I'm starting to feel I'd be dragged back real quick!
[ which... isn't a bad thing. the way he says this is almost transparently fond. he won't run away, and if he ever does falter (which he won't), he knows tsukasa wouldn't let him look back.
he's glad he's here. his heart's beating a little wilder than usual in his chest, and he raises a hand to his chin in realization of that. yeah, he's really glad he's here— ]
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Well, at least the whole package matches.]
I have already promised you that, haven't I? Whatever it takes, Leader.
I, your Knight, won't accept serving an empty throne ever again. Just as this is my home, my place is also where I should be with you. Isn't that simply the way?
[ . . . hm. He hums softly again, as if surprised by a thought, and then presses his pencil to paper again. It's not the first time that he'd had this thought, but perhaps it makes for a fairly pretty lyric too.
My home is at your side.
It's unpolished - he's not even sure if it fits in with the melody, it'll probably have to be edited - but it's definitely shameless and sincere.]
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and a bunch of complicated something elses that he can't quite place.
maybe he's bested for once, as leo feels an unfamiliar heat rise to his cheeks. it's one thing to know the strength of that loyalty, the strength of the emotions directed his way; it's another thing to hear them, and sometimes he feels as if he'll handle situations like these clumsily.
he tilts his head, and smiles. ]
You're making it the way with that forceful speech, huh? [ ... ] ... Well, I wouldn't choose anything else. I promised too, right—I won't give up this crown until you guys rise above everyone else.
[ and even then, will suou let him leave? who knows. maybe beyond that, leo has to ask himself if that's what he'll want to do, in the end.
after all.
it's that confident sparkle in tsukasa's eyes, the bursts of inspiration he says he doesn't have but the proof of the contrary truth is right in front of him, in the way he writes—that's that "something new" he's learned to love. with that, leo leans a bit, curious and attempting to read what's in the notebook. ]
Hey, can I see?
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already, Tsukasa knows that he doesn't want that.
He wants to live alongside Leo for as long as possible - but that's something that he can't bring himself to say yet, not just yet. There's still more to learn, to understand, to really comprehend... but he can wait. He'll be patient.
The question manages to get him to snap out of his reverie, a moment of hesitation as he looks over his lyrics again - they're unpolished and will require heavy editing, he knows he wants to write some lyrics in English but that's something that he'll be going over later - but well. After his Leader is writing a song for him... can't he do this? So he'll pause, the confidence in handling Leo faltering when it comes to reflecting over his own work - ]
Mm.... It's very incomplete but.... I suppose.
[so he'll shift the notebook so that Leo can read the phrases and lyrics that came from Tsukasa's pencil, disjointed and not even forming entire verses just yet, but still retaining the ideas that he wants to convey
It's only ever you that I'll be running to.
If you would only stay, I'd never waste a day.
Please welcome me home.
Would you mind doing everything with me?
For even now, there's no place I'd rather be.
My home is at your side.]
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what the fuck ]
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[ no, seriously. he mulls over the lyrics, those something elses pulling at his mind, and for a moment he pauses.
right, right, this is for everyone in knights, and it's definitely confirmation that suou's thoughts are pure, earnest. he's glad that this is the place of belonging that tsukasa's found—that knights spark these kinds of feelings in him. that this inspiration is so genuine that leo can pull it out the words.
they could use work, of course, but the most important thing in leo's opinion has slotted into his mind, and that's fine. ]
... Yeah, I see... I see—! It's just blooming, but it's really running wild, huh...?
[ excuse him as he looks up. back down, to the words. then he shifts. there's a sudden rush of something in him; a sudden movement through the notebooks and notebooks and notebooks laying around him. he makes adjustments to the music quickly, slotting it easier into the concept tsukasa's crafting and the direction leo is being dragged in, his tongue peeking out from the corner of his lips as he writes and writes and adjusts.
that's what the skips of leo's heart are for, right? the inspiration building in him, pushing against his ribcage.
he doesn't vocalize his thoughts, because he's not too sure he can just yet. and really, when has leo ever explained anything in the middle of his fervent genius? ]
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[Though - given the fact that it's for the sake of his own song, he can't quite complain, can he? No, that wouldn't be fair. So Tsukasa instead watches as Leo's pencil writes and writes and writes - unable to really believe that the music is original and flowing out so naturally. Isn't his Leader a rather impressive person? Excitable like a child, but the embarrassed look on his face earlier was enjoyable too.
Overall, it's almost kind of - ]
Cute....
[At least it's said softly before Tsukasa laughs behind his hand, so sure that Leo's so busy in his writing that he's not paying attention to his underclassmen anymore. Instead, Tsukasa shifts to try to read the adjusted music and he finds himself humming. It's perfectly in his key, which is impressive and infuriating and embarrassing all over again because of course Leo can compose something flawless so easily....
It's a bit too much.
Still, he supposes it's best to try to fit the two together so he reads over an edited line again, pausing and then testing out the lyrics to the tune.]
For even now, there's no place I'd rather be... ♪
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but eventually, he does stop. not completely willingly, but because another thing cuts through his inspirational daze. that is, tsukasa's voice, and when leo hears the slight preview of what they've made together he... well, first he lets his pencil linger in the air, as if frozen in time. then his eyes shut, and he takes in the line, repeating it in his mind, assessing it and letting his imagination fill in the rest of what may come.
and you know, for once, he really doesn't think his mind is doing what may come enough justice at all-- ]
Hmmm. A little longer at the end... [ a small hum. ] A little more... And I don't even think flying too close to the sun'll stop us! Wahaha! What do you call Icarus without melted wings?!
[ because it'd been a pretty apt description for him before, but right now he's not so sure. right now all he knows is he needs to hear more, and he pulls a notebook into his hands, extends it to his current muse. ]
Here, here! Try... "Please welcome me home"!
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[That's his attempt of answering Leo's question - even though there probably isn't much of a good answer available? Really, why does his leader always speak in such riddles? Even so, he's going to take the notebook that's offered from him, eyes scanning the page and humming the tune. His sight reading has only gotten better and better, thank goodness, even though it's still far from perfect.
But he'll keep trying to improve from here - for his sake as well as Knights.
Isn't the person next to him the one that he's wanted to impress since the beginning?
So he repeats: hums the line once more, makes sure that he has the melody correctly even though it's so fresh from Leo's own mind. Then meeting his leader's eyes, hoping to be enough (please let him be enough), he delivers the combination of the music and lyrics.]
Please welcome me home - [and because he's amused, entertained by being bossed around by Leo when his leader is actually properly leading him] - my lord. ♫
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