sugarcube | psl || like a ripple that chases the slightest caress of the breeze

[HIS FACE

IS REALLY RED NOW]

It wasn't... the first thing...

[it was]

[it was

help Buzen is just laughing now even though he’s also giving Itsuki a kiss like it’ll console him]

No one else agreed…? How could they let you go cold?

I mean -- Shuu-kun and Vani-chan did, but it felt more like I was helping them, you know? But it was different with you...

[he tried not to think too hard about it at the time, but he's had plenty of time since then!!!

anyway he tries pulling Buzen in for a kissy so that he doesn't say anything to reveal how much of bottom itsuki was willing to be for buzen since day one]

[help

itsuki gets his kissy because of course he does - he actually gets a lot more kissies on top of that. buzen kisses his cheeks, his nose, by the corners of his eyes… ♥♥]

… I start to understand a little better when I’m around you, you know?

What it means to be cute, I mean.

[this is legit so funny and endearing help]

[STOP THOSE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIP KISSIES SO BUZEN WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TALK,

but it's too late........ he has been perceived]

I dunno about 'cute', but... I'm only like this around you, so. [SO.... others would probably call it pathetique,

but the fact that buzen's enjoying this... well, it's not a bad feeling at all, even if itsuki's dignity is being lowered neatly into a grave,]

[it’s so funny…

buzen will just cuddle closer, pulling itsuki nearer to him as he hums]

I think you’re cute. So cute it’d make Kiyo-san jealous, because there’s no one as endearing to me as you are right now.

[

the gous may one day take this from itsuki but not yet]

[i hope they do because itsuki will experience the crisis of wishing he was not being called cute to being jealous that he's no longer the cutest in buzen's eyes and he deserves to suffer that way,

he huffs, one hand curling around Buzen's nape in order to keep him in place as Itsuki ducks in for a kiss, open-mouthed and hungry. or huffy. or both! whichever it is, he uses that to deepen the kiss, catching Buzen's bottom lip in between his teeth, before running his tongue over the bite.

he'd just like it if he made Buzen breathless for a moment -- however brief. he wants to see that dazed look in his eyes -- the one Buzen always coaxes from Itsuki, with whatever he does. his other hand slides around his waist, keeping him close.

they have to go meet the gous and yet itsuki's out here wilding,]

[ITSUKI IS REALLY DOING THIS AS SOON AS HE HAS HIS OWN SPACE

the terrible thing really is that buzen doesn’t stop him. again. he wasn’t expecting the surge of affection, and so the bite and lick pull a slightly surprised noise from him - but not a displeased one. his arms circle around itsuki in return, partially for balance and partially to instinctively pull him closer.

assuming itsuki just wants more attention, buzen lets his lips part so he can lick into itsuki’s mouth. it’s not like he hates intimacy and how itsuki tastes either.]

[STOP HE CAN'T THE GOUS THEIR FAMILY MEETING,

ITSUKI THE FAMILY MEETING!!! ITSUKI!! THE MEETING!!!

anyway Itsuki can't hear the meta text, so he'll just proceed to push Buzen until his back hits the wall, kissing him all the while. he moves back, just enough so he can speak between licks, and slides his hand from Buzen's back to his front, hooking his fingers onto his belt, thumb brushing the buckle.]

...Can I? [hopeful!] I'll make it quick, promise.

[SINCE THEY HAVE

THINGS TO DO

LIKE THE FAMILY MEETING]

[ITSUKI BARELY LASTED 50 COMMENTS THIS TIME I'M LOSING IT HELPPPP THEIR FAMILY MEETINGGGGG

unfortunately buzen is

agreeable

so agreeable that he lets himself be pushed back until he makes contact with the wall - and when he pulls away, he is a little confused. gaze a little hazy from affection, even as there is a slight instinct to follow itsuki's mouth for another kiss. the question and straying hand connect into his thoughts and - he laughs a little, amused]

You want our first time here to be quick? Not that I'd complain but...

[THIS IS THE WRONG ANSWER BUZEN PLEASE

anyway he's not against a quickie he's never against a quickie but he does find it funny that the first time they get intimate at home might be a quick fuck against the wall hello]

[Itsuki already has Buzen's belt loose and is about to just stick his hand down his pants, but well...

"you want our first time here to be quick?"

"first time here to be quick?"

"first time?"

and itsuki closes

his goddamn eyes. he's so horny and he only has himself to blame, as usual. with visible effort he just -- pulls his sinful hands from Buzen's pants and drops his head on his shoulder instead, sighing.]

...No. Not our first time.

[the way buzen wouldn't even care but itsuki does, hilarious. he just reviews the events that led to this horniness and tries not to sigh louder. bottom behavior he can now identify..... not that he's actually that bothered. he just loves buzen the only way he can. but he can at least, try to restrain himself.]

Sorry. Let's pick this up again later.

[this is so funny i'm shaking itsuki finally leashed himself

buzen is similarly amused, unfortunately. though his expression does soften a little bit - he really wouldn't have minded but he had a feeling that if itsuki took two seconds to think about it then he might... so he' just lets both of his arms slip around itsuki's waist for a much warmer and safer embrace as if itsuki wasn't two seconds away from undoing his belt]

You don't have to say sorry. I like giving you what you want.

[INCLUDING QUICKIES?????? HATEFUL -

but buzen will kiss his cheek then, nuzzling against his face affectionately]

But I like getting to take my time with you too, so I can love you how I want to. [soft but also sexy?] So I'd rather wait until you're the only one I have to focus on.

[Itsuki relaxes into this much warmer and safer embrace and tilts his head, welcoming the nuzzle. the sweet affection behind both of those things is helping him, even if

the next sentence doesn't.

he swallows a little, because as often as they have banged and effusive and tender Buzen has been every time, he's never said something like this before. it,,,, has an Effect.... softe, but also... sexy.]

...I can wait. [HE CAN??? WOW] And I want that too -- the same way I want to meet the other Gous tonight.

[the same way he wants Buzen to finally reconnect with everyone he's been missing!! we can think of soft, tender things and not laser-focus on Buzen wanting to 'take his time', yeah]

[itsuki really the definition of the horny grip meme rn huh

anyway despite what he said being softe yet sexy, buzen doesn't seem to be thinking anything of it. he'll just give itsuki a much softer, gentler kiss before lightly nudging him so that buzen is no longer backed up against this wall]

We'll do that then - and you said you had something to show me?

[he's also going to fix his belt now,,

topic change go!]

[u say that like he isn't the horny grip meme at all times

imagine i said itsuki looks sadly at buzen while he fixes his belt but he isn't that far gone i think... anyway his gaze immediately darts to the box followed by a pause, before he goes over and brings it back,]

This is for you.

[he lifts the lid and like the first thing in it is a very nicely drawn picture of Buzen, welp]

-- Actually, that's mine, but the rest is addressed to you.

[it's just. a stack. of letters. i wrote like two letters in our pc catchall but itsuki probably wrote so much more, help.]

You don't have to read them. I just thought I should finally give them to you, so that they're yours to have.

[HELP

buzen looks surprised??? hello???? he looks at the nicely drawn picture before laughing a little - ] Kazu-san? I think he sent me one too...

[i'm not checking the graveyard i don't remember i feel like buzen got something of itsuki. but even as he reaches out one hand to go through the box, marveling at the letters, he'll also bring his other arm to loop around itsuki's waist and pull him closer....]

... you wrote these but didn't send them to me...? I know I'm bad at reading but...

[he doesn't really understand why itsuki kept them. buzen already picks one up to start skimming over it, falling quiet]

[are you ready for more bottom behavior,

Itsuki immediately puts his hand over the letter,]

You don't have to read them now! [he sounds panicky for someone who decided to GIVE these LETTERS to BUZEN] I mean -- you can do it later.

...I'm sorry I didn't send them. I started writing right after you... died, so I wanted to keep them. They helped a little.

[the power of gay pining]

[i'm

help

ITSUKI WHAT IS THIS]

You don't want me to read it in front of you...?

[he turns to itsuki and just presses a kiss to his mouth, nipping at his lip briefly]

... well, I'm glad you gave them to me now. I do want to read them, even if it'll take me a little bit. [he's so almost illiterate but honestly if itsuki stuck mostly to kanji and no loan words buzen should be able to understand them

his expression softens a little] I'm glad you could do... whatever you needed, to find something that helped. [a little more softly] I didn't mean to leave.

[itsuki's handwriting is very pretty but yeah he never went to school so it's probably very easy to read,,, gay on main

He immediately forgets to be a bottom, pressing soft, reassuring kisses along Buzen's jaw,]

...We found our way back to each other. [and his cheek] That's what we said we'd do, and that's what happened.

[ . . . Hmmm. buzen accepts this easily enough - he puts the letter away just so he can wrap both of his arms around itsuki instead.]

… it is. I’m relieved.

I woke up on the other side and - well, mostly I just felt content. I was ready to be broken… but I was still me, and I still existed.

So as long as I exist somewhere, I’ll always come back to you.

[itsuki tightens his arms around him, but he's trying to comfort too, as much as he's being comforted.]

...I can go to you too, you know. [quietly,] Wherever you exist, and wherever you are. Whether it's the other side or here. ...I just want to be with you.

[for however long he can]

[ . . . buzen still doesn't always know what to do with it - this feeling that he doesn't always have to be the one running to the rescue. itsuki will always be trying to find him too.

it squeezes his heart a little, just short of painful, but he'll lean in to press a kiss to itsuki's forehead regardless]

... I want you to be safe, more than anything. But... I want to be with you too. So I guess I'll just always have to help keep you safe, right?

[his forehead feels warm... itsuki catches Buzen's chin so he can place a kiss on his mouth too,]

Mm. You're the only one who can. [smiling against his lips] The only one fast enough, and the only one who I trust.

[maybe it's not so bad, being soft. If it means Buzen will always look at him. If he can't fight by his side like the other swords, or walk the same path like Roxana can...

Then he can have his attention in other ways -- the only way he can.]

[ . . . soft. so soft, in a way that doesn't entirely make sense for a sword. but it is sincere and it just strengthens buzen's resolve.]

... I told you before that I don't think I'm cut out to be a guardian sword. I still think that's... probably true. [a beat] It felt especially close. The mission we just completed... I had to kill someone I liked, and admired. Someone who I wished had lived - but I knew he couldn't, for the sake of history.

[his expression turns a little rueful]

I told you that I helped build Edo Castle... I didn't mention that I also had to kill its architect, Ota Dokan. [he frowns here] I had the opportunity to save him, but I couldn't. For a really long time, I've never been able to save any human.

[the reminder makes him pull itsuki closer to him, as though something else may try to take him away again]

... but I want to save you. I want to save others too - I've been able to figure that out, thanks to Wiku and Ro. But... when you're in front of me, I can only think of looking after you.

I want to be what you see in me.

[...there's heartache there.

he can't help it. listening to Buzen, realizing what exactly 'protecting history' means... he thinks he understands a little more now. why Buzen would never call his own actions good -- even if they were committed for the sake of the many.

he thinks back on the man clad in the green kimono. 'that was someone buzen liked and wanted to save, but could not'. his heart feels heavy. as much as he'd like to offer absolution -- he knows he can't. it would be an insult to that man, and more importantly, to Buzen -- who understands the gravity of every action he takes.]

...Thank you for telling me. I'm glad I learned something new about you.

[he slides his hand around Buzen's wrist, pulling it up so that his hand is flat against his heart. so that the steady beat of Itsuki's heart can comfort him, even in this small way,]

...And I still feel the same way. You make me feel safe, and you're the only one who can save me. And if you can save me, then you can save others too. ...I'll always believe that.

[for every time Buzen's not sure, Itsuki can believe in his stead. that buzen is the sword so fast that it's never been seen, and the sword who saved him, and so many others]

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