[itsuki smiles at that, not because he thinks the sentiment is funny or silly, but because thinking about a life without buzen... it's strange, amusing in how impossible it seems.]
...It's true that it's not what I expected. But it still would have been dangerous -- having to obey whatever country owns me. Or maybe I would have refused, and lived my life while on the run.
I would have been alone either way.
[falling in love in either of those situations? he would never have had the courage to. he doesn't think anyone else would have fallen in love with him either,]
...But you've never made me feel alone. So I'd rather face danger and have this life with you than any other.
[ . . . hmm. buzen thinks about it, and supposes that's true - at least he's never felt alone here. not when the other gous have been here all this time, and he's gotten to go on missions with other treasures comrades.
it would be worse, to be safe and alone, he thinks.]
... if you're sure.
[softly. he leans in again, a little tentative, as he presses their lips together in another kiss.]
[ - itsuki asks the question when he feels like the knows the answer, and buzen delivers it without so much as a moment of hesitation. he sighs a little bit after the kiss, relieved even as his arms encourage itsuki closer as if they aren't already impossibly close.]
buzen just makes a soft, affirming noise before he leans in to let his face nestle into the crook of itsuki's neck. he presses a kiss there while he's at it.]
... then we'll just figure out the rest - to stay together for as long as we can.
itsuki's happy with this arrangement though, smiling as he gestures buzen to turn around so he can wash his back for him. he's definitely more relaxed now, but... ]
Right -- I wanted to ask you before, but what exactly is the time government?
[he lets go of his anger so fast.... everything about him is this quick!
anyway he'll continue to let itsuki manhandle him. the question gets him to hum thoughtfully]
Mm... they're like - the ones above our Aruji. Aruji commands everything in the citadel and summons us, but the time government are the ones who navigate the war against the Revisionists.... I'm pretty sure.
Mm... I don't know all the details - but I'm pretty sure they do that whenever history veers too far off its course and we've failed our mission. It's so that course of history can't continue.
It was just good that we were able to get out in time.
buzen pauses then, and turns so that he can face itsuki more directly. he brings his hands up so that he can hold onto itsuki's face, searching in his eyes to find - something. some type of answer, maybe.]
.... you can ask those questions - I think a lot of us do - but we don't get to decide that. The time government does.
And every time we fail, collectively as a team, an entire world of humans loses its present and its future. In that world, Ryu-san and Chi-san never got a chance to live, because their future never came. If earlier missions fail, then some swords may never have been forged either. Kiyo-san and Yasu-san might never meet in some worlds, if history doesn't go the way it should.
[if itsuki needs to understand the stakes better. the idea that some of their friends never got a chance to exist.]
[Itsuki leans into Buzen's hold, looking back into buzen's eyes. his own are sad, whether from thinking of the past they just left or the futures they failed to save. maybe both,]
...Yeah. A world like that... would be really sad.
[maybe he's thinking of buzen in particular too, a world where the gous were never forged because history was changed in some way. it feels especially cruel to buzen,
is it selfish to pick the ones you love over strangers? but that's the kind of selfishness itsuki would always pick every time. he puts his hands over buzen's,]
No matter what... I know the future I want to protect -- more than anything.
[the understanding gets buzen to sigh softly in relief, some of the tension disappearing from his shoulders. he doesn't mind if itsuki carries some thoughts like that... as long as he never acts on them.
history can never be allowed to deviate - for the sake of all those lives that could be lost, lives that never even got a chance. itsuki might need more concretes - to have specific people to attach his mission to in order to fulfill it - but buzen knows somewhere in his steel that he's different.
that this need to serve humanity drives him more intensely than any other feeling.
he still gently uses his hand on itsuki's face to guide him into a kiss, soft and lingering.]
.... okay.
If it ever gets too hard, or you need a break... you can let me know. What we do... I know it's difficult.
I don't want it to ever hurt you so much that you can't handle it.
[it's his go-to answer for just about everything, but itsuki finds that he means it this time. he carefully sweeps back buzen's bangs, watches them fall back into place with a soft smile on his face,]
As long as I have you and the others.
[he's no savior or martyr, he'd been the least motivated out of all the others on the ship to help humanity. he needs more than a cause.
which he has here, in buzen and kashuu and yasusada and the gous.]
buzen will go to reach for the soap and things then, sudsing up itsuki's back... but when he talks about not being used to sleeping outside, he tilts his head. then he pauses, and lets his hands linger on itsuki's shoulders then, fingers and thumbs gently pressing into the muscle.
massage time....]
Hah, sometimes we can manage to get an inn, but not always... Where are you sore?
and yet itsuki leans into buzen's hands with a soft, satisfied noise. this would be a very bad opportunity to be horny but for once itsuki chooses to be vaguely sneepy instead, enjoying the Touch instead]
Mm -- just my shoulders. I guess I'm not used to sleeping that much either.
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...It's true that it's not what I expected. But it still would have been dangerous -- having to obey whatever country owns me. Or maybe I would have refused, and lived my life while on the run.
I would have been alone either way.
[falling in love in either of those situations? he would never have had the courage to. he doesn't think anyone else would have fallen in love with him either,]
...But you've never made me feel alone. So I'd rather face danger and have this life with you than any other.
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it would be worse, to be safe and alone, he thinks.]
... if you're sure.
[softly. he leans in again, a little tentative, as he presses their lips together in another kiss.]
I don't want to be something you regret.
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he only moves away so he can ask him a question that he thinks he knows the answer to,]
...What about you? Do you think you'll ever regret meeting me?
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[ - itsuki asks the question when he feels like the knows the answer, and buzen delivers it without so much as a moment of hesitation. he sighs a little bit after the kiss, relieved even as his arms encourage itsuki closer as if they aren't already impossibly close.]
How could I?
When you're the reason I know what love is.
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...It's the same for me.
I'll never regret knowing you or choosing you -- or loving you.
[if there ever comes a time when itsuki loses him -- then he'll only regret the losing,]
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buzen just makes a soft, affirming noise before he leans in to let his face nestle into the crook of itsuki's neck. he presses a kiss there while he's at it.]
... then we'll just figure out the rest - to stay together for as long as we can.
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[figure it out and stay together...
itsuki tilts his head, enjoying the kiss... then he turns his head so he can kiss the back of buzen's ear softly, without teeth. no biting,,]
I'll help you wash. The faster you get ready, the faster you can get something to eat...
[he's loath to move but... he gets the soap and comes right back, cupping buzen's face with a hand]
...And the faster you can see Hyuuga-kun.
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Isn't this what I offered to help you with...
Mm, okay. Do you want to come with me...?
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...Yeah. I want to stay with him until he wakes up.
[so he can properly apologize to him ... and maybe he can make sure hyuuga's dreams are nice and calm too]
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Then we can do that. I'll help you wash after.
[even!!!]
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itsuki's happy with this arrangement though, smiling as he gestures buzen to turn around so he can wash his back for him. he's definitely more relaxed now, but... ]
Right -- I wanted to ask you before, but what exactly is the time government?
[is it mikazuki]
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anyway he'll continue to let itsuki manhandle him. the question gets him to hum thoughtfully]
Mm... they're like - the ones above our Aruji. Aruji commands everything in the citadel and summons us, but the time government are the ones who navigate the war against the Revisionists.... I'm pretty sure.
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scrub a dub dub buzen in a tub...]
So they're the ones who froze time? [...] Did they do that so we could reach the portal?
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[he shakes his head at that, and sighs a bit]
Mm... I don't know all the details - but I'm pretty sure they do that whenever history veers too far off its course and we've failed our mission. It's so that course of history can't continue.
It was just good that we were able to get out in time.
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his brows furrow as he tries to follow along,]
Is that why all those people started attacking each other? Because the time government put a stop to that history?
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...Was there really no other way? Even if Ishida Mitsunari won that battle... couldn't history still have --
[...]
...Sorry, I forgot that's why we were sent there in the first place.
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buzen pauses then, and turns so that he can face itsuki more directly. he brings his hands up so that he can hold onto itsuki's face, searching in his eyes to find - something. some type of answer, maybe.]
.... you can ask those questions - I think a lot of us do - but we don't get to decide that. The time government does.
And every time we fail, collectively as a team, an entire world of humans loses its present and its future. In that world, Ryu-san and Chi-san never got a chance to live, because their future never came. If earlier missions fail, then some swords may never have been forged either. Kiyo-san and Yasu-san might never meet in some worlds, if history doesn't go the way it should.
[if itsuki needs to understand the stakes better. the idea that some of their friends never got a chance to exist.]
So we can't let that happen.
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...Yeah. A world like that... would be really sad.
[maybe he's thinking of buzen in particular too, a world where the gous were never forged because history was changed in some way. it feels especially cruel to buzen,
is it selfish to pick the ones you love over strangers? but that's the kind of selfishness itsuki would always pick every time. he puts his hands over buzen's,]
No matter what... I know the future I want to protect -- more than anything.
[so he can keep fighting too, for their cause]
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history can never be allowed to deviate - for the sake of all those lives that could be lost, lives that never even got a chance. itsuki might need more concretes - to have specific people to attach his mission to in order to fulfill it - but buzen knows somewhere in his steel that he's different.
that this need to serve humanity drives him more intensely than any other feeling.
he still gently uses his hand on itsuki's face to guide him into a kiss, soft and lingering.]
.... okay.
If it ever gets too hard, or you need a break... you can let me know. What we do... I know it's difficult.
I don't want it to ever hurt you so much that you can't handle it.
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[it's his go-to answer for just about everything, but itsuki finds that he means it this time. he carefully sweeps back buzen's bangs, watches them fall back into place with a soft smile on his face,]
As long as I have you and the others.
[he's no savior or martyr, he'd been the least motivated out of all the others on the ship to help humanity. he needs more than a cause.
which he has here, in buzen and kashuu and yasusada and the gous.]
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[buzen will press another kiss to itsuki's cheek then before letting go, gently releasing him so they can get back to washing]
Here, turn your back to me. My turn.
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he'd been pretty tense but now that they've talked about it some... he's more relaxed, sinking a little further into the water with a sigh.]
I didn't realize how much I'd miss this. I'm not used to sleeping outside...
[he'd always had a place to stay, even at the lowest points of his life. he's not used to roughing it....]
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buzen will go to reach for the soap and things then, sudsing up itsuki's back... but when he talks about not being used to sleeping outside, he tilts his head. then he pauses, and lets his hands linger on itsuki's shoulders then, fingers and thumbs gently pressing into the muscle.
massage time....]
Hah, sometimes we can manage to get an inn, but not always... Where are you sore?
no subject
and yet itsuki leans into buzen's hands with a soft, satisfied noise. this would be a very bad opportunity to be horny but for once itsuki chooses to be vaguely sneepy instead, enjoying the Touch instead]
Mm -- just my shoulders. I guess I'm not used to sleeping that much either.
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