buzen pauses then, and turns so that he can face itsuki more directly. he brings his hands up so that he can hold onto itsuki's face, searching in his eyes to find - something. some type of answer, maybe.]
.... you can ask those questions - I think a lot of us do - but we don't get to decide that. The time government does.
And every time we fail, collectively as a team, an entire world of humans loses its present and its future. In that world, Ryu-san and Chi-san never got a chance to live, because their future never came. If earlier missions fail, then some swords may never have been forged either. Kiyo-san and Yasu-san might never meet in some worlds, if history doesn't go the way it should.
[if itsuki needs to understand the stakes better. the idea that some of their friends never got a chance to exist.]
[Itsuki leans into Buzen's hold, looking back into buzen's eyes. his own are sad, whether from thinking of the past they just left or the futures they failed to save. maybe both,]
...Yeah. A world like that... would be really sad.
[maybe he's thinking of buzen in particular too, a world where the gous were never forged because history was changed in some way. it feels especially cruel to buzen,
is it selfish to pick the ones you love over strangers? but that's the kind of selfishness itsuki would always pick every time. he puts his hands over buzen's,]
No matter what... I know the future I want to protect -- more than anything.
[the understanding gets buzen to sigh softly in relief, some of the tension disappearing from his shoulders. he doesn't mind if itsuki carries some thoughts like that... as long as he never acts on them.
history can never be allowed to deviate - for the sake of all those lives that could be lost, lives that never even got a chance. itsuki might need more concretes - to have specific people to attach his mission to in order to fulfill it - but buzen knows somewhere in his steel that he's different.
that this need to serve humanity drives him more intensely than any other feeling.
he still gently uses his hand on itsuki's face to guide him into a kiss, soft and lingering.]
.... okay.
If it ever gets too hard, or you need a break... you can let me know. What we do... I know it's difficult.
I don't want it to ever hurt you so much that you can't handle it.
[it's his go-to answer for just about everything, but itsuki finds that he means it this time. he carefully sweeps back buzen's bangs, watches them fall back into place with a soft smile on his face,]
As long as I have you and the others.
[he's no savior or martyr, he'd been the least motivated out of all the others on the ship to help humanity. he needs more than a cause.
which he has here, in buzen and kashuu and yasusada and the gous.]
buzen will go to reach for the soap and things then, sudsing up itsuki's back... but when he talks about not being used to sleeping outside, he tilts his head. then he pauses, and lets his hands linger on itsuki's shoulders then, fingers and thumbs gently pressing into the muscle.
massage time....]
Hah, sometimes we can manage to get an inn, but not always... Where are you sore?
and yet itsuki leans into buzen's hands with a soft, satisfied noise. this would be a very bad opportunity to be horny but for once itsuki chooses to be vaguely sneepy instead, enjoying the Touch instead]
Mm -- just my shoulders. I guess I'm not used to sleeping that much either.
buzen just makes a soft sound of acknowledgement of that, continuing to give itsuki the massage even as he leans in to press a kiss to the back of his neck, and then lower, to the top of his spine.]
Yeah...? You could always try to practice with us, if you need to. That's what our sparring is for - to make sure we don't lose our edge.
[so maybe itsuki can take on his own form of additional training?
but buzen just laughs softly at the kiss and will shift so that he can also help soap up his arms, his fingers lingering and pressing against muscle as he goes.
after he washes off the soap, he just continues to plant kisses along itsuki's arm... pampering!!]
[the horny is waking up.... the horny is waking up!!!!
buzen doesn't seem to notice though, just laughing a little bit even as he presses affectionate kisses across itsuki's collarbone, then a lingering one over his heart]
He’ll be okay. He’s all healed up so I’m sure he’s just resting now. Maybe you can visit him in a dream sooner than the rest of us… I know he’d be relieved to know you’re okay.
[but buzen is all set too - moving to stand and offer his other hand out too for itsuki to take for balance]
[because buzen won't lie and say that's. not possible. he totally had nightmares after shimabara and that was a mission that succeeded,,,,
anyway he'll let itsuki dry him off, and then reach for another towel to do the same for him. as per always, once he's done he loops the towel around itsuki's neck and gently pulls him closer for a kissu]
what a familiar move... buzen says 'let's get there quick' and yet itsuki wraps his arms around buzen's waist to give him a long, deep kissu. it's fine, they were fast with everything else?
he will eventually, very regretfully, part from him so he can start helping him dress,]
[they were fast with everything else and buzen will probably never say no to a kissu.... he leans in to match itsuki, and even when he pulls away he briefly kisses the corner of his mouth
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...Was there really no other way? Even if Ishida Mitsunari won that battle... couldn't history still have --
[...]
...Sorry, I forgot that's why we were sent there in the first place.
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buzen pauses then, and turns so that he can face itsuki more directly. he brings his hands up so that he can hold onto itsuki's face, searching in his eyes to find - something. some type of answer, maybe.]
.... you can ask those questions - I think a lot of us do - but we don't get to decide that. The time government does.
And every time we fail, collectively as a team, an entire world of humans loses its present and its future. In that world, Ryu-san and Chi-san never got a chance to live, because their future never came. If earlier missions fail, then some swords may never have been forged either. Kiyo-san and Yasu-san might never meet in some worlds, if history doesn't go the way it should.
[if itsuki needs to understand the stakes better. the idea that some of their friends never got a chance to exist.]
So we can't let that happen.
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...Yeah. A world like that... would be really sad.
[maybe he's thinking of buzen in particular too, a world where the gous were never forged because history was changed in some way. it feels especially cruel to buzen,
is it selfish to pick the ones you love over strangers? but that's the kind of selfishness itsuki would always pick every time. he puts his hands over buzen's,]
No matter what... I know the future I want to protect -- more than anything.
[so he can keep fighting too, for their cause]
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history can never be allowed to deviate - for the sake of all those lives that could be lost, lives that never even got a chance. itsuki might need more concretes - to have specific people to attach his mission to in order to fulfill it - but buzen knows somewhere in his steel that he's different.
that this need to serve humanity drives him more intensely than any other feeling.
he still gently uses his hand on itsuki's face to guide him into a kiss, soft and lingering.]
.... okay.
If it ever gets too hard, or you need a break... you can let me know. What we do... I know it's difficult.
I don't want it to ever hurt you so much that you can't handle it.
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[it's his go-to answer for just about everything, but itsuki finds that he means it this time. he carefully sweeps back buzen's bangs, watches them fall back into place with a soft smile on his face,]
As long as I have you and the others.
[he's no savior or martyr, he'd been the least motivated out of all the others on the ship to help humanity. he needs more than a cause.
which he has here, in buzen and kashuu and yasusada and the gous.]
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[buzen will press another kiss to itsuki's cheek then before letting go, gently releasing him so they can get back to washing]
Here, turn your back to me. My turn.
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he'd been pretty tense but now that they've talked about it some... he's more relaxed, sinking a little further into the water with a sigh.]
I didn't realize how much I'd miss this. I'm not used to sleeping outside...
[he'd always had a place to stay, even at the lowest points of his life. he's not used to roughing it....]
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buzen will go to reach for the soap and things then, sudsing up itsuki's back... but when he talks about not being used to sleeping outside, he tilts his head. then he pauses, and lets his hands linger on itsuki's shoulders then, fingers and thumbs gently pressing into the muscle.
massage time....]
Hah, sometimes we can manage to get an inn, but not always... Where are you sore?
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and yet itsuki leans into buzen's hands with a soft, satisfied noise. this would be a very bad opportunity to be horny but for once itsuki chooses to be vaguely sneepy instead, enjoying the Touch instead]
Mm -- just my shoulders. I guess I'm not used to sleeping that much either.
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buzen just makes a soft sound of acknowledgement of that, continuing to give itsuki the massage even as he leans in to press a kiss to the back of his neck, and then lower, to the top of his spine.]
I know you worked hard for us...
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he leans his head back and kisses buzen's cheek, mwah]
I think I can improve on a couple of things... Like putting people to sleep. Maybe I can get good enough that I won't need to touch them.
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[so maybe itsuki can take on his own form of additional training?
but buzen just laughs softly at the kiss and will shift so that he can also help soap up his arms, his fingers lingering and pressing against muscle as he goes.
after he washes off the soap, he just continues to plant kisses along itsuki's arm... pampering!!]
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[it should help with his reaction time at least?? he doesn't think a sword would just stand there and let him put them to sleep...
speaking of sleep.... he was sleepy before but now he feels more awake with every kiss, humming in appreciation the lower buzen gets,]
...That feels nice.
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buzen doesn't seem to notice though, just laughing a little bit even as he presses affectionate kisses across itsuki's collarbone, then a lingering one over his heart]
Does it? I can kiss you everywhere if you want.
[stop that]
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itsuki sighs, kissing the top of buzen's head -- breathing in that anemone scent,]
...Better not. You'll just make me want to have you.
[sex, he means sex harold]
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... do you want to...?
[he actually seems hesitant for once, FOR ONCE, because - ]
Or can you wait until after Hyuuga-san wakes up?
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I can definitely wait? I only want to if you want to...
[AND BUZEN WANTS TO AS LONG AS ITSUKI WANTS TO]
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I always want to.
[because itsuki always wants to!!]
But we should probably visit our comrade first.
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...Yeah. I hope Hyuuga-kun wakes up soon.
[he's worried about him.... but his self-loathing and guilt are more tempered now, he curls his fingers around buzen's,]
Think I'm just about done.
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[but buzen is all set too - moving to stand and offer his other hand out too for itsuki to take for balance]
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...I am pretty worried. I don't want him to have a nightmare because of what happened.
[he'll help dry buzen off with a fluffy towel, paying especial attention to his hair]
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[because buzen won't lie and say that's. not possible. he totally had nightmares after shimabara and that was a mission that succeeded,,,,
anyway he'll let itsuki dry him off, and then reach for another towel to do the same for him. as per always, once he's done he loops the towel around itsuki's neck and gently pulls him closer for a kissu]
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what a familiar move... buzen says 'let's get there quick' and yet itsuki wraps his arms around buzen's waist to give him a long, deep kissu. it's fine, they were fast with everything else?
he will eventually, very regretfully, part from him so he can start helping him dress,]
Should we grab some food along the way?
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and accepts the help with getting dressed]
Mm, we can. Rice balls sound okay?
[portable food....]
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